Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why KANYE, Why??

FORREAL THO??.....i mean Kanye had potential right??

maybe he taking the death of his Mama alot harder than we all think.

i been upset with him for a minute...why he looking like a darker Phillip Michael Thomas via Miami Vice circa 1982??...i seen him on Saturday NIght Live, with that horrific Shag cut and them Kool Moe D glasses...WTF!..stop bringing the '80's back people!! and he bringing it waaaaaaaaayy to hard!! im seriously thinkin this is our first mainstream GAY rapper!
he was in Paris this past week for men's fashion week....mens. fashion. week. in. Paris...i mean that pretty much sums it up!...BUT he was there we these mafukkas (pictured above) and Farnsworth Paris...for fashion shows...ummmm my GAYDAR couldnt be going off anymore if i was in a room with Richard Simmons, a bedazzler, and them 2 tangy guys i seen on wheel of fortune the other nite....( pat: "and who is ur guest Robert?" robert: "thatssss my fianccaaeee, Larry" *quick gay embrace*)

My prediction..Kanye is gay as hell.

he carries a MURSE for fucks sake!..a giant Louis Vuitton PURSE!...not a duffle bag...not a backpack..but a PURSE, for men..but still a PURSE!!

so..tangy, zesty men of the can two snaps and twist have this one!! cuz HONAAAYYY...i dont want him!

*and the '80's shit that is coming back sooo hard, we gonna address that a lil later...cuz i am HATING it!! (voice of David Alan Grier in 2 men & a movie)

Thursday, January 22, 2009


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

" Rosa sat, so Martin could walk.

Martin walked, so Barack could run.

and Barack ran, so our children can fly"

i get goosebumps every time i read or recite that. i read it somewhere awhile ago, and i believe it.

Today is a great day. and Today, i am truly proud to be an AMERICAN. we did it.

black, white, hispanic. we came together and changed this country. everything our ancestors did has finally paid off. he isnt just black folks president.....he is EVERY AMERICANS' PRESIDENT! and i love it!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Am I That Fat??

i mean i know imma BIG GURL...but is it a sign that i'm truly a fat girl....or maybe just truly a poor person....but besides gettin my license unsuspended and hookin up my ride...the thing i am MOST EXCITED about when i get my *ova $7,500.00* in tax return....the thing I AM MOST EXCITED about is......


YAYYYY...i have been watchin Applebee's and Olive Garden sommercials and FOAMING @ the damn mouth!.....i am sooooo sick of spaghetti...hamburger helper....and the always exciting, *breakfast for dinner* cuz a box of add water pancake mix is like $2.00 and make damn near 30 pancakes!!

bitch my fat ass need to EAT!..u hear me?...i already got a week worth of dinner planned in my head....."would you like to supersize that?"....why, yes....yes i WOULD!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Jemima Gonna Be My Daughter-In-law

so my son tells me last night he wants to MARRY AUNT JEMIMA.

imma let that marinate for a sec!!!

i think he was in a mild diabetic coma, and just was soooo happy he was gettin "real syrup" that he bout pissed in his clothes. and than points to the pic on the bottle and tells me "mama, imma eat her, and than marry her" and on that note, i almost pissed in my clothes!!!

he's 6. it was ADORABLE....and Aunt Jemima..if you reading this...i really wouldnt mind. just gotta be careful with all your syruppy sweetness. my baby is diabetic and he cant handle all that SUGAR.

Open Letter

Dear Down Stairs Neighbor,

Hey there, how you doing?.....i know you may have seen me around a few times. i stay upstairs.
i see you often, as a matter of fact my babydaddy has bought a few sacks from you. i think your name is Mike....i would just like to say YUMMMY!....

i want you to know that i would put a hurtin on you. i would do things to you that aint never been done. you're chunky, dark skind, and got dreads!...the things i would do to you!! you just dont know. i have been told that my head game is MAGNIFICENT....i would go above and beyond anything i have previously done. you would get hooked on a fat white girl so damn fast! i would literally try to suck the black off your peen. please dont be alarmed, im a very upfront person. i say exactly what the fuck is on my mind. and i know i dont have ASS, but believe me when i say, i got cushion in mah draws, its just in the front. u wont even notice i dont got booty! and like Plies say, " i feel like fucking.....i want you to lay up in something wet and punish something!" i know you know what im talking bout. ive heard you bumpin Plies quite a few times.

i know you've seen me before...i believe we had a moment when i pulled up in my Monte Carlo and was jamming to " Bitch, im me! bitch, im me..and you pussy ass n*ggas ya'll can keep on hating, waiting for my downfall, ya'll can keep on waiting, on me!" u looked..i looked...and we had a brief moment. i just wasnt you to know, in that moment, i saw EXACTLY what the hell i wanted to do to you!!

so, no pressure..cuz i get dick...i aint desperate....i just wanna FUCK YOU! if u ever lonely one night..come knock on Apt 146...i would fuck your whole world up! dont worry bout my babydaddy, he aint shit...and he cant say shit. you just come holla @ ya girl if u need the best head and puss u have ever had in ya life. ill even show you my *patent pending* special move. it will make ya toes curl like plastic in a microwave. TRUST.

get at me!















I Aint A Damn "Becky"!!

i hate white girls. i hate white girls that fuck with black dudes even more. i hate a chick that fuck with Tyrone to make her Daddy mad, or her ex (white) boyfriend, or her Mama, or her whole damn family, or whatever.
i grew up in Ft. Lauderdale. and we was poor. i had Jamaican friends, Haitian friends, even a few Cuban friends. i grew up like they did. i hated police and white ppl just like the rest of my friends did. i got the *white side eye* plenty of times!! maybe because most ppl thot i was spanish or maybe it was the company i kept. either way, i grew up oppressed feeling and hating the world too! i dont think me and a white dude could ever have ANYTHING in common. i know and sing more rap songs than most dudes i know, what me and Timmy gonna talk about?....the Bible said you shouldnt be "unevenly yolked". i have always been attracted to black men. *ALWAYS*. aint shit a white man could ever do for me. thats just me. but these white girls out here that act like its the newest fad make me sick. and the black dudes that fuck with em make me sick. how u in walmart with becky and her two lilly white kids as one happy family??...thats like me walking around with my 2 beautiful *black* babies and Jimbo in cowboy boots and damn trucker hat.

nuh uh! one of these things aint like the other!!

so Becky...leave Tyrone alone. he aint for you. go back to Timmy and work shit out. it aint time to try new things. stick to what you know!
you either new to it...or you true to it!

and *this is my life* i am TRUE to it!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

"Fuck You DUDE" is what i say!

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house .
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission.. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman' s way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Have A Happy Period

This is a letter from an Austin , TX woman sent to American company Proctor & Gamble regarding their feminine products.

She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.

It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.

'Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period. Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?

Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don 't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man!

If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong',

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.


Wendi Aarons

Austin , TX

Jelly Belly

so my baby girl Jelly, is a lil on the chunky side. like Mama..and Daddy.
she's 9, she's adorable, she's funny, she's smart as hell, just made all A's and one B on her report card yesterday. i love my babygirl!! she's been thru alot with me...the one and only time i lived alone, when i was 20 and she was just a baby, it was just me and her!...but because she is Ssoooooo like me we often fuss @ eachother and what not....but thats not the point of this post.....

me and Grimace get into a huge argument the other day about my Jelly Belly.
he thinks she eats too fast and too much.....and one day she will grow up to be HUGELY obese which will make problems in her life and she wont be accepted.

ummm we aint talkin like she EAT all damn day or she eats like a grown ass man. she just eats. i think its normal...he says i eat fast as hell too..been picking on me since we met. ask me shit like "did you even taste that" when i get done eating and what she eat like me...big deal!!

he gets mad with her when she even ask about food.

Jelly: "whats for dinner"
Grimace: "you a child, what the hell you worried bout dinner for? you gunna eat what ever is on the plate anyways!"

so after biting my tounge for awhile now, cuz he still Daddy and should have some say in his childrens life.....i got pissed off!....she made sum "YummmMMm, Pizza" comment and he went off on her! so i laid into his fukkin you guna tell her how to fuckin think!..leave her the fuck alone. hell!, im fat, youre fat..she gunna be fucking chubby....she wont never wear a size damn 2. u want her ass to be anorexic?... you want her to hate herself if she is chubby?, cuz inevitably she will be chubby...LEAVE HER AND HER DAMN FOOD ALONE!!

i mean for real tho....i know it's not healthy to be overweight....i know i want her to be happy and have a good childhood, and being self conscious about what u eat, or how you eat around ya damn daddy aint no good either!! she is fine with the fact she got a lil belly!...she loves herself..she know she's cute!..why the fuck this fat sad mafukka got to try and make her feel like shit ??....he fat and had a miserable childhood cuz he was HUGE in the 5th grade ( i seen pics ). i was always chunky, but i played sports..i had boyfriends, and ppl LOVED me!...i was the cute ass funny fat girl!..wasnt that bad!!..but he's afraid she gonna be fat and miserable like him!!

i dont know, i felt bad for cussing his ass out and telling him to STFU and go sit his ass down somewhere and let me worry bout my daughter, because i know he is only thinking of her...but he going about in TOTALLY the wrong way!!...

what you think?

MMMmmMMmMm Num Yummy!

do i have bad taste????

sooo Plies is the exception, but i like em DarK! meat on the bones and and a face only a Mama (and me) could love.

i like tats and or scars, i like rough ass hands, i like thick legs but well defined ankles...not Cankles..but a nice ass well defined ankle area. i like moobs (man boobs) i know thats gunna be NASSY to ya'll...but not like b's or c's or anything....i call em 'prison titties'...thick ass chest area and a nice nipple...i like sucking nipples....think what you want. i like broad shoulders, a big back, and a lil belly hang. listen, imma big chick..chunky, if u please..i cant have no lil ass man. alll my fat girl associates say im crazy!! " a skinny man can get in them nook and crannies" is what my associate 'head & shoulders' says. bitch is u an english muffin??? nuh uh! he can also leave ya ass bruises on the inside on ya thighs from his boney ass hips! no thank you!! if we go to war, i cant be afraid if i throw it back i might knock your ass across the room! my girls over at YKYDAW (youknowyoudeadazzwrong) always say EWWWWWW THUNDA! everytime i say someone sexy!...except NEVER..she usually on my level (usually)... do i have bad taste?? i mean hell, somebody gotta love looking @ these mafukkas! and i am just that MO say, "she beautiful to someone"...well that mafukka sexy to me!! so if you see me in the streets with a CRISPY ass, fat, black, tatted up, goonish looking mafukka...dont question me....ITS WHAT I LIKE!!

so in summation, (sp chk?) i like em dark, fat, rough, and possibly an ex-con! DONT YOU JUDGE ME! and please feel free to leave ya application in the comments if thats you, and i will get back to ya!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Question Of The Day

is a woman hoe just cuz she enjoys sex???

why do we gotta fuck 4 something besides dick?.......if we like a dude and we wanna hunch, why we gotta get money, or some other compensation to justify us fuckin off rip??

does a dude appreciate a no bullshittin ass woman?...if i wanna fuck and you wanna fuck, why cant we lay the bullshit aside and fuck??....if u step to me with the lil game spittin that fellas do, and i say " Bruah, all that aint neccesary, i'm down, if you down. lets set up a mutual understanding and do what we feel like doing" am i a HOE?

why Grimace told me last year when he was fukkin every fat bitch that would give up the snatch he was better than me cuz atleast he was fuckin for $, weed, food(???) etc? and cuz i was just fukkin for dick, intimacy, relations, that i aint shit?!!

so as an adult, male or female, if u honest and upfront bout what u want and u fuck with no dates and for no compensation (other than the sex) does that make you a hoe??......

and as a dude, if you fuck with a female that thinks like that, is she just a hoe to you??..or do u RESPECT that she's a real ass female that's honest and upfront? u respect that??...or no matter how u get the pussy, if u get it off rip, she's just a hoe??


Pull ya Draws UP!

keep ya head up!....deall with the shit u got, and strive for better!

i tell my self the serenity prayer all the time...cuz why im always trying to change sum damn body?? head is smart, says "2 tears in a buckett...MUTHA FUKK it"....but my soft ass heart says.."Awwwww, be nice...he will change..stick it out" tired of being lead by my heart..its time for my no nonsense ass brain to kick it into gear and handle biz....

please grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change
the strength to change the things that i can
and the wisdom to know the difference!!



<~~~~~ GRIMACE
so, now that the introductions are done...... my first real post....and of course it's about Grimace....let me tell ya'll first off that i am real proud of myself for not knocking his mafukkin fronts out this morning...but my license is suspended, and i needed a ride to work.

so i wake up @ 6:30 to get the kids ready and breakfast and shots for my son and what i gotta get ALLL OF THHIISSS *jazz hands up body* REATS TO i smoke the last 2 cigs in the pack that i seen on the table...assuming since he had been gone the night before for like 4 hours "chilling with his sister" that he had his own damn cigs..well this mafukka wake up with a 'TUDE...cuz he aint got nuthin to smoke...i say "my bad, i thot u had another pack" you know what this mafukka says to eyes are squinting now just thinking about it...he says to me " IT AINT YOUR JOB TO THINK" you serious mafukka??....i swear fore God i almost lost all self control and knocked that lazy, lil dick mafukka across the room....but i BIT MY TOUNGE...i bit. my. tounge. i dont never bite my tounge...i ususally let the bitch HAVE IT....i got a mouth for ya ass, trust..but it was kids was right i just SMILED and walked my ass in the passenger seat and got driven to work like MISS mafukkn DAISY!...

he was so hot he wouldnt even stop and get cigs. LMAO...and im broke till tomorrow, so he did it just to spite id be struggling all day with out a newport....bitch sis work here...i been smoking ports all day!! get ya mind right!..and best believe he better not even fix his mouth to ask me for a cig when i get paid tomorrow....

i hate him!


well well well.....allow me to introduce name is THUNDACAT!.....and reading everybody else's business has really made me want to share mine...hell, bitches is nosey!!

im a 28 year old white and indian chick ( blackfoot and cherokee) born and raised in FLORIDA. i have 2 bee uuttee full mixed kids, one daughter who is 9, we will call her Jelly....(*giggle*) and a 6 year son, who is diabetic, and we will call him Ter-Bear.

my life aint been easy by any means...but this late in the game i really just try to smile and keep my head up. i got a babydaddy that, even tho i love him & he has many good qualities, overall...he aint shit! i pay all the bills and he mooches off his family to meet the rest of our needs. he dont work, and even tried "slangin" for a lil while, but realized he was smoking any profit he was making off the product. later on him, im sure!

i dont have much family that i am in contact dad is a raging alkie and aint even sober enough to speak half the time, and when he does, he just crys. i cant even deal with it. my mom decided to become racist late in life when she met her current man, so i havent spoken to her in sum years....i have 5 sisters...1's a "ill suck ya dick for a rock behind this 7-11" crackhead....not a play-play sister lives in Texas and really aint bout shit, she got issues GALORE..and really i got my who needs more? one sister i work with and lives here in Tally. and another who is just like me and we see each other regularly. and a younger one that still lives with my mom, so that relationship is pretty much gone. i love my sisters, but i really dont get involved in they lives, cuz i got my own shit to deal with.

so basically my life and is me and my kids...and of course Grimace ( the babydaddy ).

its '09 man! like Barack say.."its time for a change!!!"

stay tuned!